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Kids Understanding Disability |
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Growing up with an aunt who has a spinal cord injury has taught my nieces not to underestimate people with disabilities. They've been my greatest cheerleaders whenever I tried something new, but more importantly -- they never doubt that I will be successful at whatever I try because they don't have the negative expectations that most people have about what someone with a spinal cord injury can achieve.
My love for them is
boundless, and the only worry I have about our relationships is falling
from the pedestal they have put me on and disappointing them. They think
I'm a "star" because of what I've accomplished and the attention
it has generated, but the only stars I see are the ones shining from their
eyes every time they look at me. |
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My nephew and I struggled with one another for many years during his childhood because I was a strict disciplinarian. I needed him to respond to my voice because I wasn't able to chase after him to protect him from oncoming cars if he ran into our busy street. He thought I was mean, but I decided that his safety was too important to worry about whether or not he liked me. Eventually he learned to accept the boundaries I gave him, and we became friends. Friendship blossomed into trust, and trust forged a bond of love that we both cherish today. After his parents divorced when he was six, Nicky and I had a standing sleepover date every other Friday night. We ate lots of junk food, rented movies or PS2 video games (which he clobbered me on), or simply enjoyed meaningful conversation. I have tried to share my experiences with him and teach him right from wrong, and in return he has taught me to practice what I preach and that children truly do respond to an adult who cares enough to listen. At 18, he is strong enough to lift me out of my wheelchair and help me take care of things most boys never even think about. The word 'disability' is not one he's familiar with because it has never been an issue in our family. To him, I'm just Aunt Krissy.
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Questions are healthy. Kids learn by asking questions, so it's important to let them express their curiosity. A parent once asked me what he should do if his child goes up to someone in a wheelchair and starts asking questions. I told him to observe the comfort level of the one being asked. If there does not seem to be a problem, let the child and the individual finish the conversation. There is nothing wrong with children demonstrating an innocent desire to understand the world around them. When do we learn that asking questions is wrong or a sign of ignorance? Not asking questions leads to assumptions, and that causes much more harm than a simple who, what, where, when or why. There are limits. I'm not saying a child or an adult has the right to probe into anyone's private life, but a general question about why someone is sitting in a wheelchair can begin a dialogue that just might open the lines of communication and understanding. |
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An Opportunity To Teach When you aren't like everybody else, you can take one of two roads: you can either choose the low road and perpetuate misconceptions about your differences, or you can choose the high road and teach people how to look at you with a new perspective. It's not easy to break through preconceived ideas, so that's why children are so important. I take every opportunity to educate kids about how much people who use wheelchairs are capable of achieving because they are so willing to listen. They cling to positive role models and begin developing opinions very early, so I want to impress one very important thing upon them as soon as possible: Choice People who use wheelchairs are just like other people. Kids can choose to accept that and treat the them fairly once they understand that fact On another note, the majority of spinal cord injuries are preventable. Young people can be taught to choose to protect themselves from permanent injury by wearing the proper safety equipment and choosing not to participate in risk-taking behaviors. Inevitably, children grow up to be adults. Ultimately, the choices they make will be driven by the things they learn before they get there.
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My nieces Sarah [left]
and Stephanie [right] in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida during the
Ms. Wheelchair America 2001 Pageant.
Sarah
and me at my father's wedding.
